20071205-Helping List

Yeah, ‘Santa’ in his jolly red suit is none other than a f@t b@st@rd, whose likes wear islander shirts with flowery designs. ‘Santa’ has been extremely naughty for holding back our Christmas presents. As a result, he has suddenly ‘come down’ with some sort of flu-like symptom since Thanksgiving holiday.

I called him several time to hear his raspy voice barely audible above a whisper. He sounded horrible as if under attack by a host of angry elves. ‘Santa’ might have accidently stepped on some sensitive toes on a bunch of unionized helpers, who may have overlooked many nice children. They appeared to have been tangled in a bunch of red ribbons.

In the meantime, ‘Mrs. Claus’ is up to her ears in gingerbread men, whose caroling rattles the foundation of her newly formed gingerbread homes. Their fake gingerbread cars are falling apart, too. And just as she ran out of sugar to pipe the pieces together, the oven got hotter and out exploded the rest of the gingerbread gangs.

But help is on the way! I wonder how the North Pole is going to deal with the influx of unanswered letters sent by greedy, selfish brats who already have more than enough goodies to fill one room to the ceiling. Maybe for good public relations, flying reindeers could tow in a savior — someone to help bring back the snow and stop this alleged global warming.

Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.