Y’all damn well you can’t change a stubborn outdated old timer into some handsome stud overnight. Nor can anyone change one’s religion from Buddhism just to be married in a Catholic church, like ‘WinTea’ is planning with my brother. Once black always black: This includes Obama who is partially white. So he could go either way - Muslim or Christian.
While I believe in unity, there is no such thing as getting along with differences. Take for example, my giant 6′2″ cousin, ‘Giant’ who is (or was) attending USC (University of Santa Cruz) in California. Y’all could Google her name and find out she is Cavite — a type of snotty faced Filipina with the attitude of dog blood. I say this because it runs on her mother’s side, the ‘Orge’, some hot shot director at Washington Hospital.
I know they cannot change their bad attitudes towards ‘Maw’ and me. For whatever reason, their nastiness won’t leave me in peace until I tell the truth of my personal observance with regards to the twosome. The stories are varied but short and to the point: Onward with my rant above all else.
Story one:
When ‘Joh’ was to be married to ‘LaRain’, there was a plot to ‘force’ us to attend Lorraine’s bridal party. The scenario occurred sometime prior to Christmas when ‘Joh’ claimed his computer needed fixing by my brother whose career involves computer support. My brother was too nice and offered to fix his stupid computer.
What annoyed me was the fact that the owner of the computer (Joseph) should have delivered and picked up the computer as this is proper with any business transaction to the repair shot. But because my brother and I were TOO nice, we drove 45 minutes both ways.
When we got to their ‘third’ residence (which was paid off with the millions of Philippine pesos that ‘Orge’s mother gave as part of the inheritance with the other one going to ‘Orge’s brother, whom is not in good terms with ‘Orge’), ‘Giant’ was the only one there to greet us.
I immediately picked up bad vibrations from ‘Giant’ who didn’t want us to stay around for long. ‘Giant’ had her arms folded across her chest as we inquired to the whereabouts to her younger brother, ‘Joh’. I didn’t know what to expect next.
I barely recall not responding or attending one of their invitations and we denied ever receiving something from them because my brother ‘forgot’ the card inside his backpack. So she clearly had wanted us to attend ‘LaRain’ bridal party and said quite enthusiastically: ‘Are you going to be there, right?’ We answered half-heartedly: ‘Yeah’. Right: But in our minds we knew better than to play along.
We didn’t show up. ‘Joh’ and ‘LaRain’ divorced after two years. I knew there was something off with the relationship with the younglings because ‘Orge’ TOTALLY ignored ’LaRain’s side, especially the parents, during the wedding reception. ‘Paw’, ‘Maw’ and I knew the parents from long ago. They are more down to earth and normal compared to the likes of ‘Orge’ and my paternal uncle ‘Macaroni’.
Story two:
Here is more dirt from the same people with life’s basic problems that won’t leave me until I die. ‘Maw’ always liked to pop over and visit these ungrateful relatives. And to my dismay, I AM THE ONE carpooling ‘Maw’ and ‘Paw’ into the snakes’ territory. So in effect, the offense is greater to me because I too wanted to see my relatives no matter how mean they are to us.
There was not convincing her that some people needed to be well informed prior to traveling over 45 minutes to a place we don’t if people would be there to greet us. This was one of the stopovers for our delivery of fruits in paper bags, which were left on our ungrateful relatives doors. Only an aunt-in-law, ‘Babel’, called to personally thank ‘Maw’ for her kindness.
I remember EVERYTHING - mark my words! These are my own words and noone else’s.
And sure enough we arrived at Gemini Ct. of their ‘first’ house, which was sold off to pay for ‘Joh’s wedding or so I’ve heard. I believe ‘Joh’ and ‘LaRain’ lived there for awhile. I knocked at the front door and waited to no response whatsoever. I didn’t hear anything through the doors and probably peeked through the window.
I told my parental units there is no one there. Then just as we backed out our Mercedes Benz E430, I saw movement - the blinds were closed from the inside! I quickly pulled back onto the driveway, ran up the path and proceeded to knock and bang at the front door loudly and tell whoever was in there: ‘I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!’
Then that nasty giant, ‘Giant’, opened the door and to her right out came ‘Joh’. He had this stupid grin on his face and a towel on his head while making the excuse that he was taking a shower and couldn’t hear the door. ‘Giant’ also made an excuse that she was busy in the back doing the landscaping.
We went inside and looked around a bit and saw the backyard down nicely by ‘Orge’ and ‘Macaroni’, no doubt mostly by ‘Orge’, the brain of the family. Then my two cousins called their parents and pretended to sound as if they were not surprised to see us there. I knew better for they are all LIARS!
So then we went over to the new house where we actually invited in to see ‘Orge’ mother and my old paternal granny sleeping in one room that time. We heard stories from ‘Orge’s own MOTHER of how ‘Orge’s was very nasty to her that she had to go back home to the Philippines after giving the inheritance away.
The sentiment was worse when the family of four refused to take the old lady along on one vacation because ‘Joh’ said to his grandma: ‘It’s only for the family’. That was the last time we saw ‘Orge’s mother, who will never come back to the Bay Area.
Story three:
So after the death of ‘Allbutt’, an uncle-in-law married to my auntie ‘Mal-Form’, we had been fed at the Country Harvest, a buffet restaurant. We talked some more and we pretty much ignored each other and seated ourselves with the gang mentality - cousins with their own kinds, the outsiders with theirs, which included my paternal uncle ‘Gigo-Ling’ and his second wife, ‘Ample’, who was kind enough to talk with me briefly.
I noticed that the cousins were not saying much to each other as usual and they keep to themselves pretty much. But when the time came for ‘Orge’ and ‘Giant’ to leave, I kept waving and saying goodbye to them from a seated position. They both continued on, pretending to look at their left and wave to the cousins who were in front of me.
After they didn’t see me and ignored ‘Maw’ and aunt-in-law ‘Babel’ and maybe aunt-in-law ‘Conceiving’, I flicked the nasty twosome off with my right middle finger as they passed by but was hiding that gesture with my left palm. The only cousin to see my finger flicking action was ‘Toy-Rin’, the middle sister of ‘Ter-Rel’ her older brother and ‘Tery-Rin’ her younger sister.
Story four:
This was the most recent and last story of both ‘Orge’ and ‘Giant’. This was during last year’s 90th birthday party for our paternal grandmother ‘Loose’. Everyone ignored us from San Jose, CA because they have this mind set of insecurity and unfortunately have fallen to the dark side by playing plastic through their pearly white teeth. Once again the evil duo passed by without saying goodbye.
‘Giant’ had turned her back to me after I told ‘Macaroni’ and ‘WinTea’ how she won’t hug me as I sat down in front of them. While at the doorway, ‘Orge’ waved to the cousins to my right and I glanced over my right shoulder to see her, turned my head back down to pretend enjoying my dessert and make a sad face. I wanted my stupid cousins to take a hint and stop playing PLASTIC.
Story five:
This is probably unrelated but my late paternal grandpaw almost knifed the old hag ‘Orge’. This, for whatever reason, was no surprise because the ‘Orge’ was NOT very nice my grandparents, who once lived with them in their ’second’ house, where those religious frauds had set up camp to do all sort of ‘hilot’ (or faith healing massages) for money (or donations), which is typical of Cavites.
This explains why ‘Macaroni’, ‘Giant’, and ‘Joh’ decided to take up martial arts: To defend themselves from the truth, the truth that they are not nice – sometimes. Maybe they figured out early on that we relatives don’t like their attitudes. This explains why that family has not participated in the relatives’ parties, only until recently and only if they want to get something in return and then leave after they get what they want.
Disclaimer: So if that future lawyer of horror, ’Giant’ gets in my face about this particular rant, the public already knows. It’s too late, loser. Your blood is as thick as mine, which is sweeter than wine. But you, my youngest of the paternal cousin, wear the thickest face than all of us cousins combined.
Bottom line for anyone out there: Do not ever do business with relatives. You know why there is always room for the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me Father! Nothing escapes bitter sentiments like relatives hurt from misdeeds, words and actions.
Copyright © 2008 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
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